family, pregnancy

Why We Aren’t Revealing Our Baby’s Name until the Birth

castle

*Photo of the nursery wall. Below this castle is our daughter’s name. No one is allowed in there until she’s born.

I’ll admit it. This used to drive me CRAZY. I could not stand the couples who kept their baby’s name a secret until after the birth because I needed to know. A co-worker could tell you about how I was so desperate to know her son’s name that I dreamed about it on multiple occasions. I was convinced that child would be named Josiah Christopher. He wasn’t. It turns out I don’t have the gift of prophecy.

Now my husband and I are one of those couples who refuse to share our baby’s name with the world. And you know what? It’s really fun.

People have been trying to weasel our baby’s name out of us for weeks. But we still haven’t cracked, or even come close to slipping up. My husband has actually gotten pretty good at giving out politician-style vague answers. For example:

Person seeking name: If your child was to line up with her class by alphabetical order, would she be near the front or the back of the line?

Husband: That depends on the names of the other kids in the class.

You have to admit, that’s a good answer.

I’ve heard many horror stories of parents who announce their child’s name to the public before the birth only to get hateful comments in response. By delaying our baby’s name announcement until after she is born, we are preventing this from happening. My theory is once the name is attached to a beautiful baby girl, you can’t say anything negative about it anymore.

That said, here are our reasons for keeping _________’s name a secret.

  1. If you don’t like it, we don’t want to know. 

Sorry, but it’s true. It’s not your kid. You don’t get a say. So, when we do share our baby’s name, if you think it’s too long, too short, too old, too new, too boring, or too unique, keep it to yourself. Thanks.

2. If you knew someone who was a jerk with that name, I’m genuinely sorry, but that person is a completely different human than our baby.

Just because the only person you’ve ever met named _________ was mean to you does not mean that our child will be a bully as well. Like, not every child named Taylor has grown up to be a world famous pop star. Why you would think the baby’s name has anything to do with her personality is beyond me.

3. If you think it’s going to lead to some mean nickname, we’ve already taken that under consideration.

Trust me. LOTS of thought went into choosing our baby’s name. You don’t have to try to think of ways it could be used against her in the future. We already have.

4. We don’t feel the need to “claim” the name before someone else does.

Some people have asked me what I would do if a friend named their child ________ before I had my baby. Well, I’d name her that anyway. After all, it’s already on the wall in her nursery. Proof that we’re not just copying. And that wall decal was WAY too much of a pain to take it down now. 

5. It keeps one thing just between us. 

This was really the whole point. Pregnancy is today’s social media-driven age is so very public. And much of that is a positive thing. Friends by the hundreds have left encouraging comments on Facebook and Instagram or “liked” my growing belly posts.

But as my husband pointed out, everything about the past nine months has been public. There was the big pregnancy announcement, followed a couple months later by the gender reveal. I even started this new mama blog! It has been a blessing to share our joy with friends and family throughout this time, but we found it important to keep one thing just between the two of us.

In just a few days, ________’s name won’t be just ours anymore. But for a short time it was. And in a strange way, it made us feel like a family, even before she was born.

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